I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
