Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
