You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
