Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
