If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
