Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
