I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
