I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have fence marks all over my body
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
