I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
