I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
