we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
