how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you would pick up someone in the library
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
