Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
