i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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