it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
