i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
