Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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