I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
