I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She even gives head with a lisp.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
