im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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