Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
