Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
