Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
