Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
