Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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