you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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