i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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