it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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