I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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