??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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