What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
