I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
