i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
