You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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