Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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