We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
