Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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