They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
