i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
