lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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