yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
