ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At least make sure they are 18
Why
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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