I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
