i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
