To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
