I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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