Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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