I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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