do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
