I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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